Dear GhanaWeb,

I’ve been married for over four years now.

When I met my husband, we were both sexually attracted to each other and we bonded so easily.

My husband was so naughty with me that, he didn’t mind having sex everywhere with me. We were both adventurous and we explored together.

Eventually I got used to him and wouldn’t even notice any other man aside my husband.

After we got married, we decided to have fun for a while before thinking of having children.

It’s just been us for like 2 months into the marriage and my husband started withdrawing himself.

Then he spoke to me about having kids and I later agreed.

When I got pregnant, my husband stopped having sex with me completely.

I complained several times and made him aware that’s the time I need him the most, but he played deaf ears.

Now we have two kids together and we make out once in a while but it’s not as fun as it used to be.

He stopped doing most of the things we used to do together.

The pleasure in making out with him, especially the one he knows I enjoy the most during our intimacy which is him going down on me.

My husband has stopped going down me, it’s been four years and I haven’t had that tingling feeling.

Even after childbirth that I was expecting him to at least, do it once a while, he doesn’t.

I’ve begged him several times and sincerely explained to him how I miss the feeling, yet no show. He would promise to try, but never tried.

I’ve become bitter. I don’t enjoy sex and I’m always angry when he comes close. This isn’t how I wanted my marriage to go but where I am right now, I really crave for it.

I don’t mind if it’s just five minutes, it would go a long way. I’ve done all I could but he won’t go down on me. I’m so unhappy. I’m someone who used to be very active sexually, I craved it and got wet easily but now, I’m like a log because I don’t get a bit of what I want at least.

I discussed the issue with an old male friend and he asked if he could help me. I was so scared from the beginning but even my husband knows I’ve suffered enough.

I told him I just wanted him to go down on me but not penetration and he agreed. We did it and I enjoyed it.

When I got home I was smiling all through and my husband was wondering why I was so happy but I didn’t mind him.

Now I feel guilty of everything, I don’t even feel like making out with my husband anymore.

Last night, I had the thought of finding a guy who would just be satisfying me sexually. Four years is a long time. I know it’s wrong and I’m scared but why shouldn’t I do it?

Men are sometimes the reason women cheat. I’m confused. What should I do now?